Once my dad got a nail stuck in his eye so he had to get this cotton patch taped over it and while he slept I drew an eye on it and put makeup on it and coincidentally my dads name is Joe so I think you know where this is going
My dad was the real Cotton eyed joe
I wasn’t kidding…
dont judge the artistic part of it i was 9 and he is a light sleeper
people are boycotting the Kraft commercials for the “Zesty” salad topping because it features a topless man in compromising situations.
people are boycotting it because it sexualizes a man.
people are boycotting a commercial that features one of the oldest marketing strategies because this time it’s a man being exploited.
how does one tell a boy that one likes him
I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:
- text them and start playing one of those 20q games
- if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
- if they ask “You like anyone?”
reply Yeah, you.
- If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”
dude that is genius
slow clappin’ it out.
why the fuck does vagina=weak and dick=strong
have u ever kicked someone in the dick? they fall to the floor and cry
kick someone in the vagina and i can guarantee u they’ll just punch u in the face
vagina not weak
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town
- Me: John!! Why are you so cute!
- John: cause I'm related to you.
- Me: duh obvi.